Let Us Die

This next song I'm bringing to you is from a band called mewithoutYou. Yes, that's their actual band name, I didn't mess up lol. The song is "Bullet to Binary." It's such a strong and captivating song.


I couldn't find an embeddable video so you'll have to bare with me and click the link. It's the actual music video so it's totally worth it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_uwgRzlrNc


Artist: mewithoutYou
Song: "Bullet To Binary"

Lyrics: "Bullet To Binary"

Let us die, let us die
Dying we reply
"don't talk to us about suffering,
look in our eyes".
Let us be, let us be-
Our closeness is such that
wherever she rests her head
in the softness underneath,
she'll feel me - and you will feel me.

Je leverai les yeux a toi-
J'ai change cent foi de nom
Je leverai les yeux a toi-
Je n'ai pas d'spoir.

When you laugh you'll feel my breath there
filling up your lungs. And when you cry,
those aren't your tears but I'm there
falling down your cheek.
and when you say you love him, taste me
I'm like poison on your tongue-
But when you're tired, if you're quiet,
you'll hear me singing you to sleep.


I guess one of the first things that I should explain is that the singer, Aaron Wiess is autistic. He may seem a little weird in the live video, well, that's why. But these lyrics are so strong and he pushes them forward with so much energy and power. In the line, "Don't tell us about your suffering, Look in our eyes, look in our eyes" you can hear what seems to be a desperation in his voice. Like, he has been pushed to the point where all he can do is lash out.

Then there is that verse in French. Up until recently I never understood what it meant do to my lack of understanding the French language. Well, with the help of Google Translate I was able to decode the lyrics. Here is what the literal translation is:

I will lift my eyes to yourself
I changed one hundred witness name
I will lift my eyes to yourself
I have no holds promise.

The only way I can try to understand that is understanding that the singer is a devoted Christian who is very strong in his faith. This isn't a Christian band, rather they are a band with Christian members. So that's what I'm guessing these lines hint at. His faith.

If you think about this song in the context of it being about a girl, it's easy to understand where all this pent up rage would come from. If you've ever had your feelings unreciprocated then you can sort of get a feel for what he's going through in this song. I've always had a hard time being honest with my emotions when it comes to girls. Maybe for fear of rejection. Maybe for fear of ruining whatever friendship we are enjoying. I also know the pain of someone else owning the person you love's heart. So it's easy for me to get caught up on these lyrics while singing along. Sometimes, things swell up inside me without me even realizing it until the song is over.

The other thing I like about this song falls back to him being a Christian. My connection with God isn't the strongest. Sometimes, it's hard for me to remember he exists. This song; however, is a good reminder that no matter what trouble I'm going through, there is another means of consolation. Usually, I sing bitter songs about whatever it is I'm going through. It's my way of dealing with the pressures of life without resorting to the evils of drugs and alcohol. If I delved in those things, I would probably have a hard time getting out. I just have to remember that He's there.

The Ballad of Ronnie Torres

I once told a girl that if she ever did me wrong, I would make this song be about her. Well, here we are not even a year later and I'm writing this blog. It's "The Ballad of Sal Villanueva" by Taking Back Sunday. It's not on any one CD except their "Notes From The Past" which was sort of a Best of.. type deal with two B-sides, this one being one of them.

Sorry about the annoying video but this was the only one I could find that wasn't live.




Artist: Taking Back Sunday
Song: "The Ballad of Sal Villanueva"

Lyrics:"The Ballad of Sal Villanueva"

"The Ballad Of Sal Villanueva"

It's not that I don't trust you
well I just know what you've been up too
and well this dial tone is agreeing with everything I've had in mind.
and you've got your high as a kite tricks in the bag.

so as his eyes move past your shoulder
and your shades start moving in the same direction
don't worry I, well I won't say a thing.
and you can't blame a girl for (you can't blame a girl for)
stickin' to what she knows..(stickin' to what she knows)

I hope he takes his time
and I hope he keeps your eyes closed tight
I hope that when he leaves,
you still smell him on your sheets
cause I can, I can.
I hope he takes his time
and I hope he keeps your eyes closed tight
I hope that when he leaves,
you still smell him on your sheets
cause I can, I can.

if I could get to sleep
then, I guess you could stop pretendin'.
cause if I didn't think you loved it,
well then I wouldn't play along
and you've got your high as a (you've got your high as a)
kite tricks in the bag..(kite tricks in the bag)

I hope he takes his time
and I hope he keeps your eyes closed tight
I hope that when he leaves,
you still smell him on your sheets
cause I can, I can.
I hope he takes his time
and I hope he keeps your eyes closed tight
I hope that when he leaves,
you still smell him on your sheets
cause I can, I can.

you're down for sellin' me out
while I play dumb,
it's cool cause I let you, thought I'd never catch you,
you'd say "we're only friends." yeah, real good friends, I bet. I bet.

you're down for sellin' me out
while I play dumb,
it's cool cause I let you, thought I'd never catch you,
you'd say "we're only friends." yeah, real good friends, I bet. I bet.

you're down for sellin' me out
while I play dumb,
it's cool cause I let you, thought I'd never catch you,
you'd say "we're only friends." yeah, real good friends, I bet. I bet.

forget your legs around my hips.
forget your hands pressed on my back.
forget the letters that I kept.
this is another I won't send.
forget your lips, your eyes, your thighs.
forget our one last kiss goodnight.
forget me stakin' out your house.
forget I've got you figured out.

forget your legs around my hips.
forget your hands pressed on my back.
forget the letters that I kept.
this is another I won't send

The first thing about this song is the chorus. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I can't help but feel something boil up inside me when I'm singing those words. I get so riled up that I just want to keep singing haha. Then there is the part about how she's down for selling him out. The line, "You say we're only friends" part is exactly what hooks me about this song. I knew exactly what would happen between them and it did. I told everyone it would happen.



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Also, does anyone have any suggestions for something I can use to upload songs myself besides Youtube? Maybe just a small, embeddable flash player or something would be fine so that if I can't find a video on Youtube, I can just use that instead. Thanks, any help would help

I Wish I Had The Nerve To Tell You I'm A Wreck

So this next post is about a girl(Go figure). We've been friend's for a long time and I've gone to great lengths for this person. It's weird, she's gotten me to be the most spontaneous I've ever been for someone. Anyway, the song is called "Sincerely Yours" by Hit The Lights.




Artist: Hit The Lights
Song: "Sincerely Yours"

Lyrics: "Sincerely Yours"


Wake up and let go
Of these feelings that I've had for you
It's easier said than done
So give up (give up) and let go (let go)
Of these feelings that I've had for you
Why couldn't you be the one?

'Cause it's a guilty pleasure
Deciding whether you were ever mine or not
But the truth's apparent
That you weren't ever mine to start

What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you

So don't close your eyes

Every night I kept you up
I never once heard you say stop
But right now I wish I had
I wish I had the nerve to tell you that I'm a wreck
But what really did you expect?
You never listened to what I said to you (what I said to you)

'Cause it's a guilty pleasure
Deciding whether you were ever mine or not
But the truth's apparent
That you weren't ever mine to start

What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you (I need you)

Now this broken shell of a boy
Falls to pieces with no choice
At the sound of her voice he falls apart
Now this broken shell of a boy
Falls to pieces with no choice
At the sound of her voice he falls apart,
He falls apart, he falls apart, he falls apart...

What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you

I need you



Now the thing about this girl is the fact that I had been chasing her since high school. When we first met, I had a girlfriend at the time, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think she was the coolest girl in the world. I guess I didn't realize the way I really felt until WAY later, but that's not even a big deal. I've had my feelings go up and down for this girl. I'd like her for a while, then I'd get over it and then it would come back next year or something haha. I swear we had the worst timing when it came to that lol.

But this song pertains to the one-sided end of the deal. The feelings I had when hers were fleeting and it was probably too late but it wasn't easy for me to just get over. I would seriously wake up and try to convince myself to not be so miserable. That she's just a girl and there are more out there, but it was never an easy feat. The truth is that I was miserable even without her in the picture, and she was my escape. She made everything better when we talked long into the night. Our conversations would end when either the sun came up or one of us fell asleep.

Then there's that verse that talks about how the boy falls to pieces at the sound of her voice. I can't help but connect there because every time we would stop talking, I would begin to get over it and start to move on. Then we would talk once and it would seem like everything was better and I would just fall right back into the hole I was trying to crawl out of.

Dude, I sound so lame lol





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Also, any feedback would be good. One thing I was wondering about was like, would it be better to post the lyrics first, or leave it how it is with the video first?

I Would Sleep Forever, If There's Peace In Death

Ever come across one of those songs that states exactly what you've been feeling lately. That's exactly what this song has been for me this past week. It's only a minute and a half long but I've probably replayed this song eight times in one day. Probably more. Just driving to work and back I can probably listen to it three times on the five-minute drive. It's by the band Trapped Under Ice and the song itself is called "See God." Here is a video featuring the song and I'll post the lyrics underneath.





Artist: Trapped Under Ice
Song: "See God"


Lyrics: "See God"

Never brought mommy smiles
this feeling that i'm feeling i've been feeling for
a while
it's hard to admit but i got to get it off my chest
i would sleep
forever if there's peace in death

and if you see god
tell him that i'm
still alive
gave up on all those prayers because they couldn't provide
the
answer to the questions ive been asking since birth
been searching for the
truth for years
i can't find peace on this earth

you won't find peace on
this earth


Every thing about these lyrics explain how I'm feeling lately. Even the whole, "Never brought my mommy smiles" part. I was thinking that part over this week trying to convince myself that those words weren't necessarily true in my life. That my mother and I have always had a pretty good relationship. That was of course until she sent me a message reminding me of how worthless I am. That's when I realized that, yup, those words totally fit me.

The rest is pretty self-explanatory. I've been dealing with my depression since middle school. Sure I had some good times in high school, but even with all my distractions it snuck up on my from time to time. I was doing well for a while. Pauline was always a big help with that. Not that she did anything necessarily, just that I was able to feel special when I was with her or my friends. Now that there's nobody there in that spot, it's become a lot harder to deal with it. I hang out with my friends to get my mind off things but that doesn't always work. And in all honesty, if I were to get shot, or stabbed right now, I would embrace death. Mark says that I'm fucked up in the head for not caring about continuing my life and living it out to the fullest, I just don't always see the point I guess. The truth is, I just want to go to heaven already. I've nearly lost all connection to my faith. The only thing I can still believe in is that in the end, God will take mercy on me and accept me into his Kingdom. That's why when I first heard the line, "And if you see God, tell him that I'm still alive. Gave up on all the prayers because they couldn't provide the answers to the questions I've been asking since birth" I was taken aback by it. Not necessarily out of shock or disbelief that someone would actually say that, but that I caught myself accepting and believing it to be true about myself. I've known where I stood with my faith and I knew that even though I didn't attend church on a regular basis, that I was still in His favor, but it's been harder to believe that lately.

I'll Never Get Anything Right

I think it's somewhat fitting that my first official post will be on Brand New's song "Degausser." It is easily my favorite song by them. This is one of the songs I would use as an example for pouring your heart and soul into your music. It drags emotions out of me that most songs can't. I'll go more into that later. For now, here are the lyrics and a couple videos of the song.

This is the first video I came across that I really liked. I'd imagine it is hard to replicate the album version of this song live but they did such an amazing job doing it differently that I fell in love instantly. You can see how much emotion he puts into singing these lyrics. I couldn't embed but there is a link. Please watch it.

Live Performance of Degausser

Now this next one I couldn't help but include. I didn't really intend to use two, but since I couldn't embed the first one I figured I might as well. This is from one of their acoustic sets. It is incredibly different from their other performance but it still retains so much power.



Here are the lyrics:

Artist: Brand New
Song: Degausser


Goodbye to sleep,
I think this staying up is exactly what I need
Take apart your head
Take apart the counting, and the flock it has bred

Goodbye to love,
Well it's a ride that will push you up
Right against the wall
Take apart your head
Right against the wall
Chew it up and swallow it
[In background:]
(Does everybody really need to know everyone?
Do you really think you're really a part of it?
And is your army really one of some thousands?
And will you declare war on the loony bin?)

You burnt bright but you run out
I fell asleep in the afterlife
I can't shake this little feeling
I'll never get anything right

Goodbye you liar,
Well you sipped from her cup but you don't own up to anything
And you think you will inspire
Take apart your head
You wish I could inspire
Take apart the demon up in the attic to the left
[In background:]
(When I arrive will God be waiting and pacing around his throne?
Will he feel a little Old Testament?
And will he celebrate with fire and brimstone
Yeah, I admit, I am afraid of the reckoning)

Goodbye my love (You burnt bright but you run out)
You wait right here, and they will come and pick you up (Let's sleep at the incline)
I've been on pause but I'm shaking off the rust (I can't shake this tiny feeling)
I've lost my charge, I've been degaussed (I'll never say anything right)
I'm on my own, I've been degaussed (I'll never say anything right)
I'm on my own, I've been degaussed (I'll never say anything right)
I'm on my own, I've been degaussed (I'll never say anything right)
I'm on my own

Take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say, "I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in"
Well when we were made we were set apart
But life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming, the storm is coming in

You burnt bright but you run out
I fell asleep in the afterlife
I can't shake this little feeling
I never did anything right, I'm on my own
I never did anything right, I'm on my own...

Take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in
Well you're my favorite bird and when you sing
I really do wish that you'd wear my ring
No matter what they say, I am still the king
Now the storm is coming, the storm is coming in.

There are different versions of these lyrics out there, but I just went with this one for now. They are more complete and even though some of it is missing from the actual songs, I think they are an important part and needed to be included.

There are so many things about this song that get to me. Just the beginning baseline gets me. I am asucker for baselines and this one gets stuck in my head. Then, he comes in with an almost whisper as he begins to sing. It's the perfect build-up to the chorus. The chorus is so powerful. He conveys so much emotion. And then there is the actual lyrics themselves. There is the one line, "I can't shkae this little feeling, I'll never get anything right." I hate how much I can relate to that. This past year has felt like nothing but disappointments. Sure I've had my fun, but everything has just been rolling downhill for me. Recently I faced the fact that I don't have much to show for. I haven't accomplished much, I work a dead end job. I'm poor. Nothing is right. Nothing is the way it's supposed to be. No matter what I do I can't get my mind off of it. I can't convince myself otherwise.

But that's not even it. Lately, I am so out of it I can't seem to do anything right. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. I can't seem to perform my usual tasks correctly. At work, I forget what I'm doing. I forget what I need to do. When I'm hanging out, I just sorta sit there, boring and not contributing to much. I feeling like I wasted everyone's time. Before, if I was in a bad mood, I would go hang out, and get my mind off of it. I can't even do that anymore. Now, I don't even hang out. I just sleep. I regret it of course because sleep brings no peace. I have dreams I don't want to dream. Then, I realize I left everyone hanging and have to deal with the fact that I flake. I expect crap for it and that doesn't make me want to hang out. It is causing me to create space and drift from the ones I hold closest to me.

And then there is the ending verses. Everytime I hear those, I can't help but think of this one person in particular. Things had always been up and down with this person and I was always viewed as the one at fault. I took this on myself not wanting to cause any pain for that person. I try to tell myself that I'm better off without that person, but it's not true.