I'll Never Get Anything Right

I think it's somewhat fitting that my first official post will be on Brand New's song "Degausser." It is easily my favorite song by them. This is one of the songs I would use as an example for pouring your heart and soul into your music. It drags emotions out of me that most songs can't. I'll go more into that later. For now, here are the lyrics and a couple videos of the song.

This is the first video I came across that I really liked. I'd imagine it is hard to replicate the album version of this song live but they did such an amazing job doing it differently that I fell in love instantly. You can see how much emotion he puts into singing these lyrics. I couldn't embed but there is a link. Please watch it.

Live Performance of Degausser

Now this next one I couldn't help but include. I didn't really intend to use two, but since I couldn't embed the first one I figured I might as well. This is from one of their acoustic sets. It is incredibly different from their other performance but it still retains so much power.



Here are the lyrics:

Artist: Brand New
Song: Degausser


Goodbye to sleep,
I think this staying up is exactly what I need
Take apart your head
Take apart the counting, and the flock it has bred

Goodbye to love,
Well it's a ride that will push you up
Right against the wall
Take apart your head
Right against the wall
Chew it up and swallow it
[In background:]
(Does everybody really need to know everyone?
Do you really think you're really a part of it?
And is your army really one of some thousands?
And will you declare war on the loony bin?)

You burnt bright but you run out
I fell asleep in the afterlife
I can't shake this little feeling
I'll never get anything right

Goodbye you liar,
Well you sipped from her cup but you don't own up to anything
And you think you will inspire
Take apart your head
You wish I could inspire
Take apart the demon up in the attic to the left
[In background:]
(When I arrive will God be waiting and pacing around his throne?
Will he feel a little Old Testament?
And will he celebrate with fire and brimstone
Yeah, I admit, I am afraid of the reckoning)

Goodbye my love (You burnt bright but you run out)
You wait right here, and they will come and pick you up (Let's sleep at the incline)
I've been on pause but I'm shaking off the rust (I can't shake this tiny feeling)
I've lost my charge, I've been degaussed (I'll never say anything right)
I'm on my own, I've been degaussed (I'll never say anything right)
I'm on my own, I've been degaussed (I'll never say anything right)
I'm on my own, I've been degaussed (I'll never say anything right)
I'm on my own

Take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say, "I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in"
Well when we were made we were set apart
But life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming, the storm is coming in

You burnt bright but you run out
I fell asleep in the afterlife
I can't shake this little feeling
I never did anything right, I'm on my own
I never did anything right, I'm on my own...

Take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in
Well you're my favorite bird and when you sing
I really do wish that you'd wear my ring
No matter what they say, I am still the king
Now the storm is coming, the storm is coming in.

There are different versions of these lyrics out there, but I just went with this one for now. They are more complete and even though some of it is missing from the actual songs, I think they are an important part and needed to be included.

There are so many things about this song that get to me. Just the beginning baseline gets me. I am asucker for baselines and this one gets stuck in my head. Then, he comes in with an almost whisper as he begins to sing. It's the perfect build-up to the chorus. The chorus is so powerful. He conveys so much emotion. And then there is the actual lyrics themselves. There is the one line, "I can't shkae this little feeling, I'll never get anything right." I hate how much I can relate to that. This past year has felt like nothing but disappointments. Sure I've had my fun, but everything has just been rolling downhill for me. Recently I faced the fact that I don't have much to show for. I haven't accomplished much, I work a dead end job. I'm poor. Nothing is right. Nothing is the way it's supposed to be. No matter what I do I can't get my mind off of it. I can't convince myself otherwise.

But that's not even it. Lately, I am so out of it I can't seem to do anything right. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. I can't seem to perform my usual tasks correctly. At work, I forget what I'm doing. I forget what I need to do. When I'm hanging out, I just sorta sit there, boring and not contributing to much. I feeling like I wasted everyone's time. Before, if I was in a bad mood, I would go hang out, and get my mind off of it. I can't even do that anymore. Now, I don't even hang out. I just sleep. I regret it of course because sleep brings no peace. I have dreams I don't want to dream. Then, I realize I left everyone hanging and have to deal with the fact that I flake. I expect crap for it and that doesn't make me want to hang out. It is causing me to create space and drift from the ones I hold closest to me.

And then there is the ending verses. Everytime I hear those, I can't help but think of this one person in particular. Things had always been up and down with this person and I was always viewed as the one at fault. I took this on myself not wanting to cause any pain for that person. I try to tell myself that I'm better off without that person, but it's not true.