Artist: Darkest Hour
Song: "With A Thousand Words To Say But One"
Lyrics:
Street it took so much from me separated by this divide I created
Through my fears and in your tears you tried to show blind eyes and
Tell deaf ears if we can make it through the landslide standing we'll
Lift each other up to see the bliss on the horizon been looking
In from the outside lately I've seen who I used to be and it's not me
And we can keep healing and we can keep holding on I just want to take
You where our time won't be waste anymore through the mountains on the
Water we'll stay engulfed in one another and when I can wake up to see the
Sunrise in your eyes and we'll finally be free I'll know I've made it home so lets go out west
And bask in the overcast and walking through the rain we'll see the
Beauty in life again
My biggest problem is that I've been reflecting way too much lately. I have been bringing up old memories that I found out I still have a hard time dealing with. It sucks that it's true, but fuck... It's true. Maybe it's just because I've been wanting someone to share my life with more than ever. I feel like I tend to tantalize myself with chances of potential connections but it never seems to work. So what happens is that I watch something or listen to something that reminds me of all the girls I've ever been close to and then it just feeds that fire of loneliness even more and I come crashing down on myself.
As I said in my previous entry, my greatest enemy is myself. I have very little self-esteem and tend to try to hide that as best as possible. I put up fronts to try to be someone people enjoy having around but I end up just hurting myself even more. But you see when there is a girl that is in my heart I push myself to do better. I push myself to be a better person. That's what I need. I don't need a girlfriend to go on dates with and cuddle with. I need a girl that will inspire me to be a better person. Give me a reason to live up to these standards I have set for myself. Become something she can be proud of. I know I can't do it on my own free will. I need that push.
